Montag, 17. März 2008
"Is this my limit? Can I endure some more? Chances I'm given, question existing..."
prezzel, 01:37h
No. Yes.
This is not my limit, I am totally aware of that. And I am capable of enduring more. So the real question is how much more can I endure. Oh well I guess even that is still quite a bit.
The Start of this thought was my latest failure in an exam. And yes I know the world does not end just because you fail one exam and of course there is the chance to resit it. See my problem is not the grade or the fact that I failed my problem is what it does to me.
It does not simply get me down, it eats me up, it fills my mind with doubts. Suddenly it does not matter how many tests I have passed and how good. All this is suddenly forgotten and my only thought is that I won't be able to manage all of this.
See it's not what my prof thinks or says that gets me down its my own thoughts. And I guess that makes it kind of worse.
I guess that I am so scared of doing a mistake or doing things the wrong way that when the smallest thing happens I feel as if my worst doubts became real and thus all others will follow.
Guess that's what I wanted to get rid off at the moment. And now I should really get back to my essay...
This is not my limit, I am totally aware of that. And I am capable of enduring more. So the real question is how much more can I endure. Oh well I guess even that is still quite a bit.
The Start of this thought was my latest failure in an exam. And yes I know the world does not end just because you fail one exam and of course there is the chance to resit it. See my problem is not the grade or the fact that I failed my problem is what it does to me.
It does not simply get me down, it eats me up, it fills my mind with doubts. Suddenly it does not matter how many tests I have passed and how good. All this is suddenly forgotten and my only thought is that I won't be able to manage all of this.
See it's not what my prof thinks or says that gets me down its my own thoughts. And I guess that makes it kind of worse.
I guess that I am so scared of doing a mistake or doing things the wrong way that when the smallest thing happens I feel as if my worst doubts became real and thus all others will follow.
Guess that's what I wanted to get rid off at the moment. And now I should really get back to my essay...
... comment
pico,
Freitag, 21. März 2008, 10:57
Just stopped by to...
...wish you the most pleasant Easter holidays. And I've been meaning to tell you for ages: It's unfortunately quite normal that bad things/thoughts stick with us longer than good ones. Usually it helps if you sit down and repeat to yourself everything you've done right in your life - most of the time that puts things into perspective.
And seeing as you've won a Grammar-Award (and some day I'll buy you a hat with soda cans on the side to go with that, you adorable nerd ^_~) and seeing how you failed only marginally and the exam must have been mean, since so many people failed... and seeing that you have a friend who's going to coach you for the day you resit it - you'll manage.
And then you have one more item on your 'success list' which you can remember should things get rough again.
And it's only ten in the morning on a holiday, so I'll just hide under the covers again ^_^ . See ya on Tuesday,
cheers,
pico
And seeing as you've won a Grammar-Award (and some day I'll buy you a hat with soda cans on the side to go with that, you adorable nerd ^_~) and seeing how you failed only marginally and the exam must have been mean, since so many people failed... and seeing that you have a friend who's going to coach you for the day you resit it - you'll manage.
And then you have one more item on your 'success list' which you can remember should things get rough again.
And it's only ten in the morning on a holiday, so I'll just hide under the covers again ^_^ . See ya on Tuesday,
cheers,
pico
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... comment
