prezzel of passion

No. Yes.
This is not my limit, I am totally aware of that. And I am capable of enduring more. So the real question is how much more can I endure. Oh well I guess even that is still quite a bit.

The Start of this thought was my latest failure in an exam. And yes I know the world does not end just because you fail one exam and of course there is the chance to resit it. See my problem is not the grade or the fact that I failed my problem is what it does to me.
It does not simply get me down, it eats me up, it fills my mind with doubts. Suddenly it does not matter how many tests I have passed and how good. All this is suddenly forgotten and my only thought is that I won't be able to manage all of this.
See it's not what my prof thinks or says that gets me down its my own thoughts. And I guess that makes it kind of worse.
I guess that I am so scared of doing a mistake or doing things the wrong way that when the smallest thing happens I feel as if my worst doubts became real and thus all others will follow.

Guess that's what I wanted to get rid off at the moment. And now I should really get back to my essay...