prezzel of passion

Last night I watched 'Hairspray' again I couldn't help it but recognize that it is probably my all-time-favourite feel-good-movie!
This movie always makes me happy. Well almost everytime I watch it. It can save my day!
I guess it's because such a happy movie and I totally adore Tracy. And Penny. Oh and it has a happy ending. No one is dying and every single good person in the movie (even in some cases the bad characters) get a happy ending. Ok this might look a little bit cheesy but I don't mind.
And all those colors. And songs. And dances. And....

Just did a 'Harry Potter Quiz: Which Character Are You?' out of fun.
So here's the result:

You're dreamy and absent-minded, though you often show startling intelligence. Sometimes you're Luna Lovegood, Harry's spacy acquaintance; at your best, you're Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore, far more serious-minded than your behavior might imply.

take the quiz

Here's to old movies.

Oh yes I love old movies. Italian, German, American,.... I love their imperfections and their bad stunts. And of course the bad jokes.

I have to admit I like old Bud Spender and Terence Hill movies. Especially when they're on TV on a rainy Saturday or Sunday. It's wonderful. They remind me of my childhood, when we used to watch movies with the whole family.
There is something to those fight scenes and the characters. It's hilarious. Of course that's what it's supposed to be. Nobody intended any serousness while producing those movies. Maybe that's exactly what I like about them. They are easy to watch.
(Ok let's just make things clear. It's not that I don't like to be challenged by a good movie but... come on, on a rainy saturday or sunday? After a hard week? I don't know about you but I can always use a good laugh)
So let's get back to old Bud Spencer and Terence Hill movies. One of my favourites is definitely 'Watch Out, We're Mad' ('Altrimenti ci arrabiamo') The scene with the choir is wonderful, a lot of things can happen but this scene will make me laugh at most of the occasions.

oh brilliant. Now I want to watch te movie again... Well I will probably try to rent it tomorrow. Although it's not saturday yet I could use a good laugh. This seems like fate...

First things first: I've just watched 'Becoming Jane' and while I am typing this the 'Pride and Prejudice' DVD plays in the background. This might explain the following words. (and I apologize if this is all a little bit confusing because that's what I am right now - confused. And if that wasn't enough I kind of feel a lack of words to explain myself in the last weeks. )


The last few months I have given my life some great thought. About what I want and if there is the possibility to really achieve this.
Lets spot the most obvious first: I am not talking about a nice job with a lot of money or fame. There was a time I thought that that was what I wanted but it is not. What I am actually talking about is love and happiness. I know this might sound cheesy but that's how I feel.
Maybe that's why 'Pride & Prejudice' is one of my favourite movies right now (I haven't managed to get through the book yet. I know: "Shame on me!").
Okay I don't think I am like Elizabeth or Jane or any of the other characters but still (as in most books) I can adapt with a few of them.

The scene that first caught my eye and my interest was the scene where Elizabeth turns down a proposal made by a man who could 'save' her family form being financially ruined (okay I guess this is hard to follow if you don't know the plot however I will try to make things short and precise).
So where were we... yes the man who could save her family from being financially ruined proposed to her. And she turns it down as she hasn't got any (positive) feelings for him. Her mother gets furious about this, however Elizabeth does not change her mind as she is convinced that she will not marry without really loving the man.

This scene really affected me since I had some awful discussions about a close topic with my dad. Lets but this to nowadays life. The whole situations have changed, people meet and go out without their parents and they do not rely on their parents and their social status as much as they did back then. However our parents are still concerned about the same things. At least most. Thus is that their children have relationships and get married sooner or later.
My father felt the need to talk about this with me and showed me his concerns about me not having a boyfriend. I told that I don't fall for every guy and that I will certainly not start a relationship with someone I don't like. Although this may seem natural I know that it is not. Most people start relationships because they get the chance to have one and msot often feel the need that they are supposed to have one.

At another scene E.'s friend Charlotte comes to visit her and tell her that she (Charlotte) is going to marry the man that Elizabeth turned down. As Charlotte sees how Elizabeth looks she says:
"Oh Lizzie don't look at me like that. Not all of us can afford to be romantic!"

Can we really not? Because I certainly am romantic. And with romantic I mean ROMANTIC! I love the thought about loving someone wholly for eternity and I certainly think I can do it. I confess: I believe in a happy ending. (Although my father does not believe in it - he was by the way glad that I don't run off with every man that walks by!)


I could go on talking about almost every scene in this movie (Yes I have watched it quite often fav. quote: "One of these days, Lizzie, someone will catch your eye and then you'll have to watch your tongue.") however this would take to long and at some point you would stop reading if you haven't already.

So I am trying to make this as short as I am capable of.
I want my Mr Darcy. I want someone whoms life I affect as much as he affects mine. Someone who takes me for who I am and does not leave when things get complicated.

Although this might seem foolish I think that this love is possible, that there is someone out there who can give me this love and is able to receive mine. However I am realistic and I don't think that I will be as lucky to find this person very soon. I know that there have to be others so that you are able to see how wonderful a person is. But as this is my life I feel free to chose whom I want this experience with.
I know I am not easy and I know I am choosy. But this matter is easy to explain.
I am simply not capable of starting a relationship (no matter on which basis) with a person I feel I can not love wholly. I follow the same rule when it comes down to my friends. At least to my close ones. It is hard for me to let people get close and those I let in are only a few and special ones. I love them and I trust them. That is rare it really is. I love every moment with them and I am so happy if they are as well as I am angry or sad when they are.
When it comes down to "partners" I feel just the same. I don't let them get close if I don't have this feeling for them. It may seem foolish to not even give some a chance but sometimes you just know that you would never be able to love them. (and this not being due to their looks or social status just to make things clear)

So I maybe old fashioned but I can't change it (believe me I tried) Maybe I'm doomed to have a dream that will never come true, however being someone I am not is a complete nightmare I can't live with.
Maybe I am a dreamer but I am happy with it. I am. (and I guess I am not the only one - or am I Mr Lennon?)

So let me confess again: I believe in this love. I truly believe that it is out there and that I will find it. I believe that I am able to love someone for eternity and that there is someone who can love me for eternity.
To be serious is this really so hard to believe in?


"We are all fools in love."

Another week is over. And the weekend depression already begins to form in my head.
Actually I used to love weekends. But now there is so much time to think about things. Not that I haven't got anything to do. There is quite a lot just now but since I can't concentrate on studying it's a rather horrible time.
Not that thinking is bad. I love it. Sitting around day-dreaming is wonderful (I do it during most of my lectures, and with most I mean all). The last days however this dreams are disturbed by something rather unwelcome and unfriendly. Doubts. Usually they come and go but right now I feel as if they booked a room for the weekend (and haven't booked their return ticket for now, depends on how succesful they are on the weekend).

In short: The house will be packed with Muffins on Sunday. (Which means I have to get more ingredients on Saturday.)