prezzel of passion

No. Yes.
This is not my limit, I am totally aware of that. And I am capable of enduring more. So the real question is how much more can I endure. Oh well I guess even that is still quite a bit.

The Start of this thought was my latest failure in an exam. And yes I know the world does not end just because you fail one exam and of course there is the chance to resit it. See my problem is not the grade or the fact that I failed my problem is what it does to me.
It does not simply get me down, it eats me up, it fills my mind with doubts. Suddenly it does not matter how many tests I have passed and how good. All this is suddenly forgotten and my only thought is that I won't be able to manage all of this.
See it's not what my prof thinks or says that gets me down its my own thoughts. And I guess that makes it kind of worse.
I guess that I am so scared of doing a mistake or doing things the wrong way that when the smallest thing happens I feel as if my worst doubts became real and thus all others will follow.

Guess that's what I wanted to get rid off at the moment. And now I should really get back to my essay...

So here's my second list. Titles indicate which edition I possess. So a german title means I have the german edition just as a english title indicates that I've got the english edition.


Books on my shelf I still need to read (And that rhyme is on purpose)

Unterwegs - Jack Kerouac
The Daydreamer - Ian McEwan
Watching the English - Kate Fox
The bluest eye - Toni Morrison
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
English Jokes and Puns
Das Bildnis des Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
Der Schatten des Windes - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Everything is Illuminated- Jonathan Safran Foer
Bis(s) zum Abendrot - Stephenie Meyer
Neue Vahr Süd - Sven Regener
Slam - Nick Hornby
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter und die Heiligtümer des Todes - Rowling
Die Novizin - Trudi Canavan
Die Meisterin - Trudi Canavan
Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer
Phantastische Geschichten - Edgar Allan Poe
New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
Schnee - Orhan Pamuk
Roter Engel - Tess Gerritsen
Disordered Minds - Minette Walters
The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Eine Klasse für sich - Curtis Sittenfeld
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Stolz und Vorurteil - Jane Austen

und hier sehen sie die hausarbeit in ihrer natürlichen umgebung....

langsam pirscht sie sich an das opfer, die studentin, heran in der hoffnung, dass sie sie diesmal niederschlagen kann...

doch auch diesmal wieder hat sich die studentin geschickt mit ein paar klicken aus dem würgegriff der hausarbeit befreit und bringt sich erneut in sicherheit....

hungrig und allein gelassen bleibt die hausarbeit zurück um sich in einigen minuten erneut an die studentin ranzuschleichen...

If I would have the same effect on men that I have on children my problems would be so different.... or at least men wouldn't turn out hiding from me, would they? After all there are not too many children hiding from me. Most of them seem to consider me pretty interesting....